People are likening Paris Hilton's burger ad to soft porn. Listen to me: Paris Hilton is soft porn. She is the epitome of sex without penetration. The implications are never fulfilled, but they persist because people pay for the image, not the reality. She presents an unrealistic and demeaning norm. Because of her, I am expected to show my tits just because I have them. But she's acceptable. She can even be billed as "classy" and "necessary to the plot". Not digging her makes you an unhip prude, despite the fact that her existence has no real purpose other than mass consumption with control as a byproduct. That's soft porn. That's Paris Hilton.

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