On TV - Patrick Duffy for a Leg

Good old MacGyver, always there to help out women and minorities. As a white male, aged 18 to 49, he understands their troubles better than they do and can offer sensible, all encompassing solutions. Social, gender, or racial divides are easily overcome by substances being forcibly expelled from a tube and, if ever MacGyver should lose his cool or resort to the type of behaviour employed by those he is trying to save, one of those greatful souls will step forward and apply MacGyver's own down-to-Earth, middle-class values to the situation, thus saving the day.

God bless you, MacGyver. May your Swiss army knife always be handy and your mullet increasingly blond.