�Let Me Save You From Yourself

John Stamos, you're not doing this right. There is a sequence of events that male actors like yourself are supposed to follow. It's a good plan and it works if you just stick to it and don't screw with the order much.

First, a male actor becomes popular, usually of the "heart throb" persuasion. Then their show is cancelled or a number of their movies suck or something along those lines. Then there's a lull where they don't do much of anything. After this lull, they'll appear in a new TV show or movie which will bomb horribly. Then there's another lull during which time they may be divorced and/or arrested. After that, they start doing commercials -- either voice-overs or appearing in them directly (which is much less classy, but they're on the skids, so who cares). Then they mosey on over to stage acting. Either on Broadway or off. It doesn't matter. And it doesn't matter if they're any good. Just doing it gives them credibility. Then that's it. They do all that and then they stay gone.

You came back, John Stamos. That's wrong. Other actors have followed this route with moderate success (meaning no one notices). Hugh Jackman, Christian Slater -- they're all falling in line. You're not special enough to be some sort of a renegade, Kokomo Boy. Stick to the plan.

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