On TV - Patrick Duffy for a Leg

I work at an inbound call center and I spend my shift tethered to a computer between five-foot high partitions. My intent was to completely ignore all of my coworkers. I don't do well in groups or with new people and the last thing I needed was an annoying bastard latching on to me or a gaggle of chicks thinking it was all right to sit near me and discuss their jailed boyfriends. It was time to radiate disdain for all living things and ensure that a one-meter radius of space would naturally occur between myself and others. And this went well for about a month.

And then, one day, from behind a fabric partition, I heard a rarely-seen male coworker singing. And not singing just anything. It was the same stub of a song over and over again. Specifically, "Wasted days and wasted nights," from the song of the same name by Freddy Fender. Ordinarily, that would constitute damn annoying behaviour, but it was obvious that the snippet was from the Time Life Superstars of Country infomercial. Which I make a point to watch whenever it's on. I look for it, in fact. It's hosted by a now creepy-ass Kenny Rogers and has captured my heart like no infomercial since The Magic Bullet. And if my coworker's vast repertoire is any indication ("You picked a find time to leave me, Lucille," "Blue eyes crying in the rain," "But, on the other hand, there's a golden band,") he, too, is utterly infatuated with it.

Stick it in me!