I had been unemployed for over nine months. I was living off of the savings amassed during the previous year. My plan was simply to ensure that said savings lasted as long as possible. That way, I did not have to get another job. I did not have to again slink into the working world -- in which every break is spent quietly sobbing in a bathroom stall -- in which other people are forced into my sphere and I into theirs -- in which my worth becomes entirely dependent upon factors wholly beyond my control -- in which I hope to fall victim to some horrible, disabling injury just so that I do not have to go back to my dreaded workplace for a little while. I wanted to be left alone with myself and to my own devices. I craved it with my entire being and so I decided to make it happen. It became evident early on that cabs were no longer an economical option. Nor was fast food, soon after that. Grocery runs became a hassle without the convenience of a cab and they dwindled down to none at all. Trips to the mall for non-food items (such as medication, toilet paper, and garbage bags) ended as well. The A/C could no longer be retained (it tripled the hydro bill), but, by then, I had been spending a lot of time at my parents� place (eating their food and watching my mom do my laundry without having to pay three dollars a load) and their air conditioner was better than mine anyway. Within a few months, this routine wore on the nerves of my hosts. I limited my "visits" and, in doing so, my access to food and clean clothing. The majority of the following months I spent either hungry, hot, and in bed or hungry, cold, and in the tub. This was all required. Cash had to be conserved, rationed. Unemployment had to be preserved at all costs. The misery of being filthy, of being sick from hunger, of going without prescribed medication, of losing all independence, of spending all of my time indoors and without forward locomotion was very pleasing compared to the alternative -- the alternative being some form of employment. Last week, my shrinking bank account required that I get rid of my cable television. Doing so meant I would eventually save enough money to cover an additional month of rent and happiness and so I had no problem making the decision. After going without cable for 6 days, I decided to get a job. I now have a job.

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